Where Are The Doublemint Twins When You Need Them?
Some people have really, really crappy luck. Take the case of Michael Gruber, a biker from Berlin, Germany, whose wife left him after he showed her his double penis.
Here’s what happened:
A few years ago Mike lost his penis in a horrific motorcycle accident. Doctors fashioned him a new one from some spare parts he had laying around, and a year ago Mike fathered a son using the new equipment (his testicles had survived the accident). He wasn’t happy with the artificial phallus, however, and asked his surgeons to build him a new one. They decided to leave the old penis in place in case something went wrong, and soon Mike was ambidickstrous. It’s at this point that Mrs. Gruber flipped out:
But when Gruber showed his wife his double penis, she went home, packed her bags and left.
From his hospital bed he said: “I’ve got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back.”
Atta boy, Mike. You keep dreaming.
I figure either Mike had kept his extra extremity a secret and then just kind of sprang it on her, so to speak, or he’d had some extra customization work done that she just wasn’t prepared for. In any case I can’t be too hard on Mrs. Gruber. Even Ms. Manners is silent on the subject of abnormally crowded crotches, after all, and with Mike on his third schlong he’d already buried the needle on the weird-o-meter.
