It has come to my attention that a number of people I work with are unfamiliar with Steve, Don’t Eat It! It’s been around for a while, but the aforementioned Steve adds a new entry once a year or so, presumably between trips to the hospital.
The premise is simple: Steve finds some ghastly horror in the grocery store or in a book of questionable recipes, and, so that no one else will ever have to subject themselves to the ordeal themselves, he eats the nasty stuff and records his impressions.
In lesser hands this could be moderately amusing, but what puts it over the top is Steve’s writing. The man is the Shakespeare of gross. Here’s a few samples to give you a taste.
On Beggin’ Strips bacon-flavored dog treats, which he made into a Beggin’ Strips, lettuce and tomato sandwich, Steve writes:
In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own assholes. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin’ Strips. (By the way, it doesn’t work.)
On a vile fermented soybean product called Natto:
I force-fed myself a big ol’ spoonful, and found it to be slightly rancid and extremely bitter. Unfortunately, swallowing didn’t help dissipate the flavor because the strings of bean jizz melted, coating my mouth and lips with a glistening sheen of sadness.
The entire experience is difficult to describe, but if you can remember back to the very first time you made out with a hobo’s ass, it’s a lot like that.
He also tackles such gag-a-riffic fare as diseased corn, potted meat, prison wine, and a shot glass full of human breast milk laced with Hershey’s chocolate syrup.
I bow to you, Steve. You are a God among gross-meisters.
Other than the incredibly foul foodstuffs, there’s another disturbing aspect to the site. You end up really liking the guy, and let’s face it: there is ample reason to be worried about his health.
On a closing note, you should probably not go to Steve, Don’t Eat It! anywhere near mealtimes or cranky supervisors. I read his latest post about a can of Korean Silkworm Pupas and shot milk out of my nose. I was not drinking milk at the time.
An elderly Florida man has been charged with sexually assaulting two women because he 
