ZOMBIES OF THE NORTH POLE AND OTHER UNFORTUNATE TALES Short Stories by David Bryant Important Note: The following stories are not intended for children or the easily-offended. They are primarily works of social satire and political humor, and as such may contain scenes of violence, sexual situations, foul language, and other unpleasant facts of life. Some of them are just plain silly. If you don't wish to be exposed to material such as this, or are too young to handle it, please go elsewhere. If you enjoy being offended, however, read on. Important Second Note: The following stories are intended as satire. Any personages, institutions, corporations, characters, places, countries or entities herein represented are entirely fictional, and any resemblance to actual personages, institutions, corporations, blah blah blah, is coincidental. The fact that the resemblance may extend to actual names and places elevates the coincidence to an almost spooky level, don't you think? David Bryant can be reached for comment at dbryant@atomicdeathray.com. Table of Contents Santa Agonistes - (1992) The Lost Episode - (1992) Zombies of the North Pole - (1993) Tales of the Reagan Years - (1993) The Littlest Pornographer - (1994) Tiki Irae - (1996) J. Edgar Hoover Saves America - (1996) The Adventures of Kip Crenshaw, Perverted Cowboy - (1996) Career Day - (1997) Wholly Shit - (1997) Captain Rick Megaton, Space Custodian in: Curse of the Itchy Asteroid - (1997) Tom Stays In - (1997) Twelve Haiku - (1998) Thrash Driveshaft's Midlife Crisis - (1998) Born Spree - (1998)