The Unelected Undead
We just can’t ignore it any more. The clumsiness, the slurred and incomprehensible speech, the unbridled bloodlust… I think it’s time to finally ask the question that’s been in the back of our minds for quite a while now:
Is George W. Bush a zombie?
Now, it may seem shocking to openly suggest that the Leader Of The Free World® is a fetid, hulking reanimated corpse befouling the earth with its unnatural existence, but is it really any more unlikely than the other scenarios this Administration has asked us to swallow lately?
Bush probably croaked during the notorious pretzel incident. There was a panic and nobody knew what to do, so Rove took charge. That night he performed some obscene blood ceremonies over the cadaver in the Rose Garden while Ashcroft mouthed unholy incantations with his spittle-flecked rubbery lips. Before you know it the rapidly decaying inhuman abomination was back in the saddle, ready to continue its midnight ride into the Apocalypse.
I tell you, there’s nothing like the good old American can-do attitude. Especially when it comes to creating malignant Republican monstrosities that corrupt all they touch. We excel at that.
