Recently the good citizens of Colorado were thwarted in their effort to deny civil rights to homosexuals. The court’s intervention in favor of gay rights should have sounded an alarm in the mind of anyone who loves America, for it was a direct attack on our most vital economic resource: ignorant people.

If moronic, wrong-headed public referendums continue to be summarily struck down, ignorant people may begin to feel unwanted, eventually becoming so disenchanted with the system as to go underground. Worse, some may even educate themselves.

It must be admitted that the scenario of an idiot-free utopia is extremely seductive. Imagine driving down the street secure in the knowledge that no one will make a right turn from the left lane. One could read the morning paper without fear of stumbling across editorials suggesting simplistic, mean-spirited non-solutions to complex social problems. And Public Broadcasting would be guaranteed funding.

Unfortunately, this happy vision doesn’t take into account one unpleasant fact: the American economy depends almost entirely on the existence of slack-jawed simpletons. Consider the horrific consequences if the advertising industry were suddenly confronted with a public capable of critical reasoning. What of the televangelists and "psychic friends" hotlines that require vast hordes of gullible nitwits in order to make a living? And what would become of our two-party political system? The prospect is grim.

America’s logically-challenged are a precious natural resource that must be preserved at all cost. A few repressive, unconstitutional laws are well worth the trouble if they help ensure the survival of America’s other fossil fuel.